The long-haired, white-shirted, blue-jeaned young
man comes to the last page of the strange book and reads these words: "Owa Tana Silum"
He reads the words after it and a look of horror spreads across his face. At the same time,
his body feels itchy, like a man's chin feels right after a shave. The feeling passes.
He reads furthur, and shouts the phrase ten times, faster and faster. He does it again,
loudly, shouting. As he does this, his ears sprout fur and stretch away from his head,
becoming pointy. He gets up and runs to a mirror. His ears have become those of a
donkey: furred, floppy, and growing out of his tangled mane of hair. He scratches his
hand, then looks at it in fright. The back of his hand is slowly growing brown, stubby hair.
He says, "Aaagh!"
He grabs the book and runs out of the room. He finds his sister and repeats his phrased
shoutings. She runs in terror. A pain passes through his hands and he drops the book. He
looks at his hands: the fingers are sticking togeather, forming an animal hoof. The flesh
between his fingers is beginning to fuse. He tries to part his fingers, but a sharp
pain in his feet distracts him. He drops to his butt and tears at his shoes with his
stubby fingers. As he unloostens the straps of his shoes, his feet elongate, carrying
the shoes with them. Bristly brown hair is sprouting from his feet. He kicks off the
shoes, and sees that his toes are fusing into hooves too. Cursing, he scrambles over
to the book and reads the phrase again and again, trying different pronounciations.
A tail starts to grow. It pushes against the back of his pants, and starts to worm
its way down his left pant leg. Its growth causes him some pain, but he tries more phrases.
Then his thighs start to strain at the seams of his pants. He paws at the buttons of his jeans,
dropping the book. He can see his nose and mouth lengthening away from his face.
His jeans burst, and he pulls them off, desparately.
His fur-covered thighs are exposed: they are shortening, as his feet lengthen.
A definite crude hoof is now on the end of each foot.
Trying to get up, he falls again to the ground. He curses, and notices that his shirt is
growing wet from his exertions. Finally he manages to get up, stumbling around before settling:
standing on his hind hooves. His tail swishes in anger. He clenches his crude fists, and
walks toward the book. It is still open at the correct page, and he goes down on all fours
to read it. As he reads, his thighs grow thicker, his feet longer, and his body grows
more brown fur. His tail swishes back and forth.
"What!" he shouts at the book: "Hope eeeh less? AAAnh eeeh No!"
He stands again, dropping the book, trembling in rage. His face is now covered in rough
brown fur too, and his chin & nose are still elongating outwards. Snarling his teeth,
he clomps off to another room, trailing his brown-furred tail with its hair tuft at the end.
His hands are complete hooves by the time he reaches the outside door. He smashes its window
open with one and goes through. A pain shoots through his back and he falls on all fours.
He hesitates, then goes to the stables. He uses
his hooves to climb up the side of the wall next to the door. "Heef," he says, as he paws at the
latch. His back legs finish changing. The door opens. He clomps inside.
His head-hair is shrinking back and growing at the same time: turning into a mane. His
neck elongates, powerful muscles stretching under the rich brown coat of fur. He says,
"hAanrk," as his neck strains his rather limited shirt collar. He sits back
on his haunches and paws at the air, trying to get his fore-hooves up to his neck to rip at
the shirt. However, his shirt splits itself down the front.
Sitting there, his ears flopping as his mussle sprouts whiskers, his chin wiggles into
place and his eyes change. It is done, he feels. He is a complete donkey.
He stands up on four legs and starts walking down the stable aisle, opening the stable doors.
He notices that he isn't the right size yet. He is a little too small in
comparison to the other asses in the barn. Then he feels his torn shirt get a lot tighter,
rip, and fall off as he grows abruptly to the correct size. He screams: "EEEH AHHnk EEEEEH!"
He is now indistinguishable from the other asses in the barn that are now milling about,
except for the fact that most of the others are female. He can smell that.
He approaches a female with a nice tail, realising dimly that his mind is degrading
too. He sniffs her butt, then rears up and lands on her. He moves back and forth on
her, scraping his furry belly against her back as he manoeuvres around her bristly tail.
Quick 'n' dirty transforming - who needs a story? - The Intolerable Picklejuice
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